For me, the pursuit of fitness has been a way of life, but it wasn’t always that way.
I grew up in a fairly loving home but it certainly wasn’t perfect. We were a church going family but it often felt like we were just going through the motions. My father had his own set of hurts and wounds and so he turned to alcohol to numb the pain. Emotional and verbal abuse was common theme in our home and unfortunately, my precious mother took the brunt of it.
As a little girl, not knowing any better, I would often sit around watching TV, having pancake eating contests with my older brothers, and sneaking sweets from the pantry. Being inactive and choosing to eat more than I needed became a daily habit and the way I numbed my own pain. I would eat because it tasted good, because I was bored, and because it was something I had control over. As early on as elementary school, I realized I was ‘bigger’ than the other girls. I felt alone, embarrassed, and friendships become more difficult for me. Food became the only thing I had control over. I felt unworthy and ashamed.
As time went on, I became the young girl in middle school who would inevitably fall prey to extreme insecurity that comes from a changing body. I remember being called ‘big boned’ and feeling like an outcast. Somewhere along the way, I made an inner vow to myself that I would do whatever it took to make people like me. This insecurity would only grow as I entered high school, giving way to destructive behavior and a variety of eating disorders.
But then came the grace and love of a God who would teach me over the next fifteen years that I am so much more than a number on a scale. Like many women, I still struggle with insecurity, but I am no longer defined by the way others view me. Instead, I am choosing to walk in His freedom, exchanging the voice of insecurity for the melody of His praise. Yes, the battle of self-worth is daily, but I have come to understand that the pursuit of healthy living is lasting when it comes alongside a Jesus-breathed passion and Kingdom perspective.
God can use us when we take care of the body He has entrusted us with. Being good to yourself, establishing healthy habits of both physical & spiritual exercise are all important aspects of healthy living that will produce long lasting fruit in your life. It says in 1 Timothy 4:8, “For physical training is of some value, but godliness has value for all things, holding promise for both the present life and the life to come.” Setting goals to become physically transformed are good, but I submit, focusing on our spiritual fitness is a critical piece of the journey. Because at the end of the day, the only thing truly transforming is knowing who we are we are in Jesus Christ.
Come back on Monday to read part two where Brittany gives practical tips on exercise and living a healthy life.